'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the midnight mass, I lay awake stirring, wondering, "What the hell do you do with CM Punk?" WWE has completely blown the opportunity to make a cross-platform superstar by bringing him back early for SummerSlam. Now, he's got the belt, but with no sense of danger. His pipe-bomb has been defused.
Everything since SummerSlam has been more miss than hit. When he walked towards the ring asking "We need to find out who sent the texts", America asked "WHY? Who cares? Kick Hunter & Nash's asses!" When in doubt , ask WWSCD (What Would Stone Cold Do?). Or better yet, save it for the ppv, and don't walk to the ring with that angle.
He's been slapped around by Nash , who's gone now, not giving back to the business. So no program there. Hunter beat him before he won the belt, so he's a paper champion at best. There's a natural return match there, but Triple H won't risk getting booed (he named dropped everyone but Buddha to get the crowd on his side in his pre-ppv promo).
And where are the heels? Del Rio is a bust. Ziggler is awesome, but they've done that. Miz needs to be re-built. Kane's busy, Mark Henry is injured, Orton's face & Barrett really needs to stay on SmackDown.
Also, as an anti-authority figure, he needs to fight someone who is establishment. Johnny Ace is TV poison, and he is not working house shows. McMahon is done. Stephanie won't risk getting booed right now. PLEASE not the Mystery GM.
(EPIC SIGH). I miss Edge. He'd be perfect for this.
The real answer is Triple H. He is the natural program for Punk, especially at Mania. But i think he's too busy getting ready for a third big pay day against Undertaker. WrestleMania's Main Event picture is already blocked off by part-timers (Hunter, Taker, Rock). The message is clear: these guys who won't be coming to your town: These are the Big Deal. Everyone else? Shmeh.
-Turn Foley heel. If he really does have one last match in him, he can represent the "Attitude Era" that resists change, maybe have a stable of those guys rally around him (Bob Holly, Al Snow, Road Dogg, etc), for Punk to drill through until he reaches Foley. He's made people before (Edge, Orton, Hunter), this would be the icing.
But no one really wants to boo a children's author with bum knees.
-Turn Cena. It's about time, he'll be heel at Mania no matter what, it'll freshen him up.
-Batista / Angle. Bring in some long-gone superstar who yearns for the days gone by. Once the initial pop goes away you can re-package them as a head figure of "The Establishment".
-Jericho. You have the part-timer problem again, but it would get the message across that this is belt is important.
How would you solve a problem like Punk?
PS Merry Christmas
A while ago, I started a blog for all of my papercrafts, at Qooplo.com (Thank-you, cease your applause...now). For a while, people would comment "Hey, nice drawrin's", "I want another Macho Man template", or, most often, "Your link's broken". I had counted on all of these. All, save, the spam. All it does now is collect spam. The plan was never to get rich doing papercraft, but I can honestly say I am now wealthy in junk-comments.
I wonder who stays up late, burning away into the wee-hours, eyeballs dry from monitor-light, coming up with these things. Maybe it's some Dickensian-steampunk like future, that runs only on shitty, stupid comments, sent to the past. Some foor manager in a factory full of writers yells, "We need more spam! The hospital's doing emergency surgery!" And the words "MORE SPAM!" are repeated ad-nauseum, as keyboards type away furiously.
Usually they're ambiguous, short comments. "I like your blog! Porn link goes here" , or "I will greatly consider this post, you are smart and/or a person."
This one, however, takes my cake. I want this as the RSVP to my wedding. Someone really worked at this, and I think their dedication to the craft of spam should be vindicated by passing it along:
"There are definitely loads of particulars like that to take into consideration. That may be a great point to bring up. I provide the thoughts above as general inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up where a very powerful thing will probably be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged around issues like that, but I'm positive that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Each girls and boys really feel the impact of only a moment?s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives."
Hey guys! I've started up a papercraft site: It's called Qooplo, and it'll be the online home for my own unique creations, as well as other goodies. It's mostly wrestling personalities right now, but never you fear, friend-o, there will be a ton more variety soon.
The templates are only online there if you want to make your own, but it's also on Facebook , hope you check it out.Qooplo: A Paper Thing To Do!